So I am doing this Triathlon thing to the best of my knowledge. basically, my "knowledge" consists of this: I have to be able to swim 400, ride 15 and run 3 one after another all in one day.
By the way, I have no prior skill or training in the area other than that I am bullheaded enough to think that I can do it. I figure that I know that I can run three miles, I know that I can ride 15 miles, and I certainly can do 8 to 10 laps at the pool, so who says I can't do it all together? I am stubborn enough to think that it would be somewhat like giving birth...it takes a long time and you get really tired and thirsty, and somethings are going to be sore afterward.
sounds simple enough.
SO I have been trying to work up my lung capacity and stroke, speed and endurance in the pool by warming up all my muscles in the hot tub for 10 minutes and then plunging into the pool lap lanes and alternating between swimming front stroke and then flipping over and doing backstroke to catch breath, work my muscles differently.
Mind you, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing.
Plus, I am afraid to swim with my face in the water, so I know it slows me down a lot.
Seriously, I have no idea what I am doing. I guess I figured I look ridiculous, but it is not a beauty pageant, and that is not why i am doing it. I just want to figure out how to make the water move past me better/more efficiently, so I have sought some help from an instructor....I am going to sign up for some private lessons.
what I should really do, is have MEL over, because she is like the gazelle version of a person in water...super sleek and cool...she was on a swim team, I think, and seems to know what the heck she is doing. she can even do those cool flip over and turn around things when you want to go the other way ( yep, I even don't know what that is called.)
So, I have to get to "the love."
I have long been ashamed of myself and what I look like. Pretty much from when I was a young girl I understood that you had to be thin and pretty to be liked and loved. Of course that is total nonsense, but this is not a realization that comes so easily. I have been know to refer to my mid section as being "flubby"
You listen to people tell you baloney for long enough when you're a kid, and you begin to accept it as truth.
Never mind that these people are complete idiots.
So I think that I have walked through life thinking I cannot wear tank tops, shorts, swimsuits, etc (anything else that most women dread)
Thing is, when you are hot, a long shirt and pants sucks. It is a lot easier to move and work in clothes that were meant for what you are doing. I have come to terms with the fact that if I want to keep doing Tri's I am going to have to ear a wetsuit at some point.
guess what? I'm ready now!
What changed, is that I think with trying to let go of all the old baggage from have 2 total dips for parents, and realizing that not all men are evil and out to get you.
I mean, I was nearly raped by a boyfriend (and survived to kick him in the balls), molested by 2 family members, and I 'm still standing. if people who I knew and trusted tried to hurt me and did not succeed, I DOUBT that a complete stranger can even come close to hurting me.
I mean, come on, I have wrestled my way free from more than one attacker, and that was when I was much, much younger, and not even close to as strong as now.
I think somehow, in the very recent past, I realized that I cannot be made the victim unless I exude fear and timidness.
So, today Iwalked into the hot tub full of 40/50 something men and sat right down next to them.
In the past, I would avoid going in, or wait until it seemed less threatening to me. That age group of men is tied to some very raw/scary memories. I seem to be hard wired to look down, look away, or just zoom past a group of guys this age.
something must have changed because I guess it doesn't matter if they are thinking I'm
fat.
ugly.
stupid
weak
don't belong
I don't know what they are thinking, and for that matter, I don't really give a flying you--know-what.
I think of all the freedom this attitude brings with it and I hold my head high and look them right in the eye if they look my way. those days of being scared and timid are over.
Guess what? it WORKS!
I was talking about the weather and other such niceties. I left the hot tub and hit the pool. I swam long and hard, telling myself I have just as much a right to be in the lap lanes and those sleek, cool, seal-like creatures who are fit and trim.
I really enjoyed the swim and was amazed that swimming 440 was just as easy as 300 or 200 from the week before.
I decided to hit the hot tub one last time to run the jets over my sore feet from work.
As I was about to sit down, a 30-something guy said:
"hey, was that you swimming all those laps back and forth?"
(me) "yep"
(him) "wow. That was really cool to watch. Dang!"
(me) "thanks"
He decided to show a little lub to the gal who is a little flub.
Life is sweet in all it's magnificence.
'nuf said.
3 comments:
Keep blastin' away, gorgeous. You rule!
I'm afraid to swim face-down, too. I don't know how people do that thing where they breathe rhythmically with their strokes. I took swimming lessons as a kid; I never got it.
Mel's a great swimmer. I don't know how she does it. Ask her!
You know, if you poke around this little blog community that's been created here, you will find an experienced female triathlete who may be able to give you some pointers. She's only a few clicks away.
The Y should let children in that hot tub. It's not fair.
Me no likey boiled babies.
hot tub makes crock-pot baby stew.
yucky.
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